8 Signs It's Time to Remove a Player from Your D&D Game (and how to do it)

By Luke Hart

One of the hardest parts of being a dungeon master isn’t prepping adventures, juggling rules, or even managing a table full of players—it’s knowing when, and how, to remove someone from your game. Problem players can sap the fun out of a campaign, frustrate the group, and even drive good players away if left unchecked.

Here I cover eight clear indicators that it might be time to remove a player, how to actually go about doing it without derailing your game, and four pitfalls you’ll want to avoid along the way. Because at the end of the day, your job as DM is to protect the game—and sometimes that means making tough calls.

By the way, if you're looking for a low level pre-made adventure module for your D&D 5e game, I highly recommend Into the Fey. It's designed for levels 1 to 5, features tricksy fey and their sly schemes, and contains everything you need to play!

Watch or listen to this article by clicking the video below.

8 Indicators That It Might be Time to Remove a Player from the Group

1. When the player is no longer contributing positively to the gaming environment

This is my overarching rule: a player must contribute positively to the gaming environment. This means that the game is BETTER off because of the player’s presence. If player brings the game down, leaves it WORSE off due to their presence…if you think it would make your game BETTER if they left…it might be time to remove them from the group.

My player “Bevis” did this. He brought the game down for everyone with his power gaming and cheating. And everyone was thankful when he finally left.

2. When good players start leaving the game because of another player

This is a HUGE indicator that you’d better do something fast if you want to keep your good players around. The last thing you want is to lose all the good players and be stuck with the BAD player!

You don’t necessarily have to wait for players to start leaving. If there is general discontent and players are complaining to you the DM about another player, that’s a warning sign. You’d better try to resolve the issue before they just start leaving.

Word of Warning: Be wary of players who will try to manipulate you, the DM, by threatening to leave if you don’t do X, Y, or Z. Players might do this. There’s a difference between several players not liking a single player, grumbling about it, and considering leaving and a player or players intentionally trying to manipulate you by threatening to leave. I can’t tell you how to sense this; you need to rely on your intuition and good Insight checks, I guess. But just be aware that it can be a thing.

In my Sword Coast Guard game, I had one of my best players, Aaron, leave the group temporarily because of another player, “Karen.” Karen was a rules lawyer and already known for getting into arguing matches with me, but one day Karen decided to lay into Aaron, essentially telling him he sucked as a player. Fortunately, after Karen was kicked from the group, Aaron returned.

3. When the dungeon master doesn’t want to run the game any more

When the DM finds themselves not wanting to run the game because of a specific player that’s an indicator that something must be done. It doesn’t really matter what that player is doing to strip your desire to run the game away, but if they leech your heart and soul for the game out of you and you stop running the game, EVERYONE loses. It’s better to remove one player who is sucking your love for the game out of you then for everyone to essentially be removed from the game when you decided to stop running it.

4. When more time is spent arguing with the player or dealing with drama than playing the game

Your players most likely signed up for D&D night to – you know – ACTUALLY PLAY D&D. So if you find yourself and another player constantly getting into it –often in the form of rules arguments from my experience, though it could be over anything—or if it’s two other players arguing and causing drama … and these discussions and mini soap operas take up more of your four-hour block of game time than playing the game does … DO SOMETHING! Most players want to play D&D, not watch a couple people go at it. For the average person, that’s just not fun. It causes discomfort at the very least for most people.

With my player “Karen” this was a thing. She was the classic rules lawyer, trying to find loopholes, technicalities, and vagueness in the rules to accomplish her objectives as a player and PC. This resulted in many long discussions in the game, many of which left me extremely annoyed and sometimes straight up pissed. Do you know how good a game I run when I’m annoyed or angry – yeah, not very good. That means that not only did everyone suffer having to listen to us argue but EVERYONE suffered afterwards because in my subsequent state of mind I just wasn’t running a good game. For that matter, “Bevis” would do similar things that caused extended arguments about game rules, but he was coming from a power gaming perspective more than anything else.

If you have a player who is constantly arguing with you about rules or whatever, trust me, it’s almost assuredly affecting the other players and the game as a whole.

5. When you’ve talked repeatedly with the player and their bad behavior isn’t changing

Our first step as game masters when we have a problem player should always be to talk to them to try to resolve the situation. To get them to be a less problematic player that we DON’T have to remove from our game. However, sometimes talking with them just doesn’t help. Sometimes they just don’t change their ways.

In the case of “Bevis” I met with him several times outside the game to discuss his behaviors. I say behaviors, PLURAL, because there where several things he was doing that were causing issues in the game. Mention: waking up more of the dungeon during a fight. Anyway, despite all our conversations and emails and text messages, he persisted in causing issues. Until one day I snapped, couldn’t take it any longer, and Bevis never returned to our game.

My advice: if you’ve made repeated efforts to bring problematic behavior to a player’s attention, asked them to desist and given them suggestions for how they might behave instead, BUT THEY PERSIST in their horrible ways – it’s probably time to remove them from the group.

6. When the player rarely makes game sessions

Game masters are curious creatures at times. On the one hand, we can ruthlessly crush a player’s PC in the game; and on the other hand, we can patiently put up with a player who presents any number of excuses week after week for why they can’t make a game session. Now, these excuses come in different flavors but they usually boil down to one thing: the player essentially doesn’t have TIME to play the game. Or, I should more accurately say: they aren’t willing to prioritize D&D over their other activities, thus leaving them with no time to play.

And it doesn’t matter if their other activities (work and family for instance) should be prioritized over the game or not. The bottom line is the player doesn’t have time to play the game. And, at my game table, if you don’t have time to play the game THEN YOU CAN’T BE A PLAYER IN MY GAME! Why would I reserve a spot at my table (which has a finite cap to the number of players) for a player who rarely comes!?! And when they do come, we have to spend an hour explaining everything that’s happened to get them caught up; they don’t remember how their character features work and we need to hand-hold them – why should we do that? They might be a close friend or someone that I really care about, but if they don’t have time to play, then I don’t have time for them to be a player in the game.

Also, my dear fellow game masters, please remember this, too: many times when someone doesn’t want to do something at all, they give you an acceptable social excuse for not being able to do it, and that excuse almost always has to do with NOT HAVING TIME. So, if you have player who just never seems to have time to play, please consider that they might just be giving you that as a social excuse to not play because they DON’T WANT TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS! The truth might be they just don’t like D&D and don’t want to play.

7. When the player’s play style isn’t compatible with everyone else’s

Hey, this happens. You might have a player who is a good person and an otherwise good player, but their PLAYSTYLE isn’t compatible with either the way you’re running the game or with the other players’.

There are a variety of flavors to how this might manifest itself. The player likes PVP and no one else does. The player LOVES talking in character and interacting with NPCs and other PCs while IN CHARACTER and using special voices. And wants to do so for extended periods of time. But everyone else just wants to run combat-heavy dungeon crawls and they usually ignore or just kill NPCs they come across. You see, no one is necessarily in the wrong here; but there is a clash of playstyles.

Now many times a game master can make everyone happy by including a variety of game elements in their game, but sometimes the differences in playstyles are extreme, and the one player who’s different from everyone else just won’t be happy in the game. And more than that, their wanting to play the game a different way can just throw a wrench in the entire group’s fun. So, in some extreme cases, differing game styles could certainly be a reason to part ways.

8. When the player’s personality isn’t compatible with everyone else’s

The point of the game is to have fun; not put up with someone you don’t get along with or who is annoying; don’t get points for longsuffering in D&D. A personality might not fit in. Not everyone can be friends, hangout, and enjoy games together. This incompatibility happens most when you invite stranger to play; or have your friends play but some of them don’t know each other.

It’s one thing to put up with a person who gets on your nerves at a convention game; but week to week in your home game? No one should have to suffer that.

How to Remove a Player from the Group

1. Before removing someone from the group, try to resolve the issue first.

Talk with them! Explain what the player is doing that is problematic; explain how it’s causing a problem and how it’s making others feel; listen to their side of the story; and finally, ask the player to change the problematic behavior.

You might need to have follow-up conversations, too. Bad behaviors don’t change overnight. However, just remember, YOU’RE RUNNING A GAME, and you aren’t obligated to invest in the personal character development of the player over the long term. You are not responsible for making sure they become a productive and contributing member of society. So, if you talk with them a few times but they don’t change, call it a day. Your responsibility for their personal conduct is limited. You don’t need to bend over backwards or spend MONTHS and YEARS trying to get them to change their ways.

2. If the player persists and they must needs be removed from the group, ask them to leave the group.

But, Luke, what do I say?

“Hey Karen, I’ve been thinking about this, and I know we talked a few times, but things just aren’t changing and I don’t think this is working out. I feel like the best thing for the game as a whole, for you, and for the other players is for us to part ways.”

“Hey Bevis, this isn’t working out. I’ve talked with the other players, and we all feel the best thing is for you to leave the game.”

Be direct. Don’t beat around the bush. Just tell them what’s up.

But, Luke, I don’t deal well with confrontations like that.

Okay, fair. Don’t do it alone. Have some other players accompany you and help.

But, Luke, when do I do this?

If possible, don’t do it during your game. That will put a downer on the entire game session. I suggest doing it outside of game time.

Does it have to be in-person, face-to-face?

Come on. You’re not breaking up with your fiancé. You’re not disowning your only child. YOU’RE REMOVING A PLAYER FROM A GAME. This is a NOT a monumental, earth-shattering thing here. An email or a text message will suffice. Is it better to do it in person? Maybe, but often times we just don’t see our players outside of the game itself, and remember, you don’t want to ruin a game session over this. So, an email might just have to do.

4 Pitfalls of Removing a Player from the Group

These are the things to NOT do!

1. Disbanding the entire group with a lame excuse and then secretly reassembling it without the problem player.

This is what GMs without guts do. Have some guts; don’t do this. You think the player won’t find out anyway?

2. Not removing a player for “reasons”

Reasons will abound but the most common ones I’ve heard are these: “They are a friend; I’ll hurt the relationship. AND They are family; I’ll hurt the relationship.” I acknowledge that those are difficult positions to be in: knowing that the best thing for the game would be to remove Jim-Bob but also knowing that doing so will hurt your relationship with him.

What many DMs do in this situation is just put up with the problematic player and watch as their D&D game DIES A SLOW DEATH as it sputters and grinds on until it is finally abandoned. And then the DM laments the demise of their group; waits a couple months; and pieces back another group and campaign to continue playing, often composed of many of the original players, minus the bad player. What a horribly tedious and painful -- FOR EVERYONE -- way to go about this.

3. Putting up with a problem player for way longer than you should

Will cause everyone to suffer more than they should. It’s hard, I know. Also sometimes easier to tell AFTER you remove a player that you should have done it sooner. In the moment, it’s hard to judge when enough is enough. This happened with my player “Bevis”. I put up with him for far too long before I finally snapped and he left. I know that now with 20-20 hindsight vision; but it was hard to distinguish that in the moment.

4. Not being direct with the player.

Not telling them what the issue is; not making it clear that they are being removed from the group. Don’t beat around the bush!

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