The Dungeon Master 12 Step Recovery Program in D&D

By the way, if you’re a busy GM without enough to time to prep like you know you should, Lairs & Legends can help. Grab an adventure, read it in about 15 minutes, and you’re ready to run your game! With over 700 pages of 5e resources, there’s no reason to feel stressed out and overwhelmed before your next D&D game.

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Step 1: Admit That You Failed

The first step is humility. No DM is perfect. Not you, not me, not even Mercer. Admitting your campaign didn’t go well—and that you had a hand in that—is the foundation for real improvement. It's okay to fail. What's not okay is pretending you never do.

Step 2: Believe You Can Get Better

This part is hard, especially when you're feeling like crap. But failure isn’t the end. It’s the beginning. Running amazing D&D games is a skill—and skills can be learned. The resources are out there, many of them free. But first, you have to believe it’s possible.

Step 3: Decide to Take Control of Your Improvement

Hope is meaningless without action. Don’t just think about being a better dungeon master—decide to do something about it. Take control. Make a plan. You’re the hero of this story now, and you’ve got a level-up ahead.

Step 4: Take Inventory of Your Strengths and Weaknesses

Open up a notebook or a Word doc and write two lists: things you're good at, and things you’re bad at as a DM. Be brutally honest. This is for you alone. No one else has to see it—but without this step, you’re flying blind.

Step 5: Improve Your Weaknesses and Sharpen Your Strengths

Don't try to turn every weakness into a strength. Just shore them up so they don’t hurt your game. Meanwhile, pour energy into what you do well. That’s where your real magic is. And please—stop comparing yourself to Matt Mercer. You are you, and your players need that DM at the table.

Step 6: Own the Mistakes You Made

Let’s be real. That campaign didn’t collapse out of nowhere. You made mistakes—maybe small, maybe big. Make another list. What were those mistakes? Not preparing enough? Ignoring player conflict? Overcomplicating your plot? Get them down on paper.

Step 7: Get Ready to Change Your Behavior

Knowing your mistakes is step one. The real work is committing to not making them again. Mentally prepare yourself to act differently next time. Because if nothing changes… nothing changes.

Step 8: Create a Plan to Avoid Those Mistakes

Make a plan for each mistake you listed earlier. Scheduling problems? Set a consistent calendar. Player drama? Talk it out early. Lack of prep? Use prewritten adventures or simplify. You can’t control everything, but you can prepare better.

Step 9: Reconnect with (the Right) Players

Reach out to your old group—if they’re people you still want to play with. Own your part in the failure, and let them know you’re working to do better. But don’t invite back problem players unless they’ve shown real change. And if you need new players, check communities like the DM Lair Discord to find fresh, awesome people.

Step 10: Keep Checking In With Yourself

Your improvement doesn’t stop when the new campaign begins. Keep checking your progress. Are you slipping back into old habits? Are you neglecting prep? Stay self-aware and keep refining. Being a better DM is a journey, not a destination.

Step 11: Join a Dungeon Master Community

Don’t do this alone. Find a group of DMs who are committed to growing and helping others grow. Whether it’s a subreddit, a Discord server, or a local group, connecting with others will motivate you, inspire you, and remind you that you’re not the only one learning.

Step 12: Share the Love

If this 12-step program helps you, don’t keep it to yourself. Share it. Help other struggling dungeon masters get back on their feet. Because the world needs more great DMs—and you’re well on your way to becoming one of them.